Common Application Essay
The main thing I struggled with and thus grew in was conciseness. The maximum word count was 650 words, and I believe my first draft had about 1050 words. Half of the essay was an introduction describing the greater context of the essay in excruciating detail. I explained how different factors such as the Parkland shooting and walkout led up to the project, how Humanities was going beforehand, and what the planning stages were like, all before getting to the actual starting point of the essay. The feedback I got followed what I had already noticed - I needed to get to the point much, much faster. So, I started with the moment I first heard our team called "the Bitch Squad," before going on to explain that "that’s how I imagine it happening." I think showing how I imagined it provides an interesting and unique hook into the essay. My overall struggle with conciseness was very much helped by cutting straight to the action right away, then placing the experience in context and describing why it impacted me.